How to set Strong, Healthy Boundaries in your Relationships

4 minutes

The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none.

~ Unknown

Are you tired of feeling burnout and overlooked by others? It’s time to regulate your nervous system and make YOU a top priority in your life.

12 Somatic Exercises to move your from stress and doubt to calm and assured.

How to set Strong Healthy Boundaries with others and why this is so hard…

Do you often feel stuck with people in your life and struggle to set and keep boundaries with them?

I hear you!

Any time you’ve tried in the past, you’ve immediately been met with defence, belittling, gas-lighting and any other form of deflection technique that keeps YOU in your place, so they can remain comfortable.

Listen to my Podcast Episode: Setting Boundaries with the P.A.U.S.E Method…

Today, I share my own personal P.A.U.S.E Method to help you with this! 5 KEY steps to making sure you’re aligned to your needs and can RESPOND rather than REACT to those around you.

Without BOUNDARIES and coupled with FEAR of asking for what you need, because through their behaviour, you’ve learnt that asking for what YOU need, is not safe, we end up people pleasing and being taken advantage of.

But ironically ladies, when we finally tap into our courage to stand up for ourselves and express our needs, with particular attention to what works for us and what doesn’t, our own SELF CONFIDENCE flourishes. Why? SELF-TRUST!

When you trust yourself, you truly stand in your own power as the beautiful Woman that you are!

What is my 5 Step P.A.U.S.E Method for setting healthy boundaries?

In the intricate dance of human interactions, it’s not merely the boundary itself that holds significance, but the manner in which we articulate it to the world. In moments of tension, when boundaries feel violated or silenced, the art of graceful assertion becomes paramount. Enter the PAUSE method – a transformative approach rooted in self-awareness, empathy, and unwavering self-trust.

Step 1: Protect Your Energy – P

In the hustle of life, when negative energies threaten to engulf us, it’s vital to hit pause and safeguard our inner sanctum. Picture yourself cocooned in a protective bubble, impervious to external influences. Take a moment to breathe, to center yourself amidst the chaos. Whisper to your soul, “I am safe. I’ve got you.” Feel the strength of this shield as it deflects unwarranted energies back to their source. Remember, what others project is their burden to bear, not yours. Embrace your personal boundary until you FEEL it wrap its arms around you.

Step 2: Assess the Situation – A

During a quiet, safe place of reflection, wield the power of the written word. Journal your thoughts, untangle the knots of emotion, and unveil the raw truth beneath the surface. What stirs within you? What do you truly need in this moment? Let the ink flow freely, revealing insights hidden within you. For those struggling to articulate their emotions, the Emotion Wheel stands as a guiding compass, illuminating the path to self-discovery.

Step 3: Understand Why You’re Feeling the Way You Are – U

Delve deep into the labyrinth of your emotions. Unearth the roots of your feelings, discerning whether they stem from present realities or echo the ghosts of past traumas. Reconnect with your core values, the guiding principles that anchor your existence. Is it trust, honesty, respect, or perhaps communication that resonates most deeply with your soul? Embrace these values as pillars of strength, grounding you in times of uncertainty.

Step 4: Set the New Boundary – S

With clarity as your ally, gain clarity on which boundaries you need to have in place. Write them down with purpose and conviction. Craft a covenant with yourself, a solemn vow to honour your truth unapologetically. Practice articulating your boundaries aloud, affirming their resonance in the mirror of your own reflection. BEFORE sharing them with others, let them take root within your own heart, anchoring you firmly to YOUR VALUES.

Step 5: Evaluate – Is it Still Working? – E

Periodically revisit your boundaries with a discerning eye. Are they still serving their purpose? Do they require fine-tuning to align with your evolving needs? Remember, boundaries are not static constructs but living, breathing entities that adapt and grow alongside us. Trust in the wisdom of your inner compass, knowing that honouring your values is the ultimate act of self-love.

Adopt this loving practise and method when you feel triggered. It takes practise and time to get it right. But remember, those who are right for you will respect the boundaries you set. Without question.

Move from Stress and Doubt to Calm and Assured

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